Sorting out the men in Ottoline's life would be tantamount to diagramming a mathematical formula-not my forte.
Ottoline loved men- but in what sense?
Was she forever in search of the father she lost at so early an age?
Ottoline's father- as a young Lieutenant General, above and as a distinguished Major, below
Language complicates things considerably. Were her liaisons all about passionate love-ergo sex or was it courtly love? The phrase used often "making love" was a very different from its context today. It can not be denied Ottoline was attracted to men-many men-and many men at once. She had to be intimate-and by that I mean having sex with at least one or two of them-though it is never clear in her memoirs. She seems to have been in Love with Love.
She received countless letters-love letters-declarations of love-lovers thoughts of leaving wives-lovers leaving wives and so it goes.
She was threatened with being named correspondent by Bertrand Russell's wife if he followed through with his threats to divorce her in favour of Ottoline. In turn he might threaten to-if she did so- step out in front of a bus. There was drama surrounding Ottoline to be sure.
This "lover" would be leaving-while another on his way up the drive.
Philip Morrell, 1903 by George Charles Beresford
No wonder she had health issues and became exhausted retreating-many times with her husband Phillip- to restore her health. Phillip seems to be the one man that made no demands on his wife.