They do not like ME

from  Memoirs:
Some whisper must have come to me that they criticized me, for I remember vividly standing by my bedroom door as I was going out one day, and realizing it so vividly that I said aloud to myself: 'They do no like Me. My presence among them is unwelcome to them.' It came upon me as a shock. I shut myself up in my room as much as I could.

Henry Herschel Hay Cameron, 1900.

while at a shooting party at langwell , my eldest brother's (Henry) place in Scotland

-If I had been like them and made to their pattern, I should have had what is  called a 'glorious time.' The system of which they were a part did not admit of thought or individuality, or indeed of liberty or cherishing any delicate ideas. Perhaps it is from a certain ancestral sense of noblesse oblige that these personal feelings have to sink out of sight, like a stone in water, while the current of life flows rapidly on obliterating them.

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